Breastfeeding Beyond 6 Months – Why the Shame?

Right, I need to talk about something that’s been bubbling away since I watched that recent Vanessa Feltz segment on Channel 5 about long-term breastfeeding. A mum in the USA was publicly shamed for breastfeeding her 3-year-old, yes, still happening in 2025, and Karen Millen went on to say she found it “weird,” that feeding past 6 months was “selfish,” “addictive” for both mum and child, and — wait for it — “not normal.”

Let’s be clear. I’m not here to bash Karen Millen. I don’t believe in woman-bashing, it’s unhelpful and damaging. But I will challenge this type of commentary, because it feeds a toxic narrative that shames loving, responsive parenting, and spreads misinformation.

Let’s start with a few basic definitions:

• In the UK, a child is classed as a baby until the age of one.

• The word baby means “comparatively small or immature of its kind.”

• The verb to mother means “to bring up a child with care and affection.”

• And breastfeeding? It’s the act of feeding a baby milk from the breast.

So when a mother breastfeeds her baby, whether they’re 6 days, 6 months, or 3 years old, she’s doing exactly what nature designed her to do: feed her child. There is nothing “weird” or “selfish” or “not normal” about that.

Yes, if you’ve never breastfed, or you’re not a parent, it might make you feel a bit uncomfortable. That’s okay. You’re in a different place, hormonally, emotionally, experientially. But your discomfort doesn’t make someone else’s experience wrong. It just means it’s unfamiliar to you.

Now let’s unpack the “no nutritional benefit after 6 months” claim, because that’s just plain inaccurate.

Here’s what breastfeeding does after 6 months:

• Supports the transition into weaning — breastmilk is gentle on the gut and balances out nutritional gaps as solids are introduced.

• Continues to provide crucial immune support — packed with antibodies, enzymes, and protective factors that change as your baby grows.

• Promotes brain development — studies link extended breastfeeding to improved cognitive outcomes.

• Comforts and regulates the nervous system — the skin-to-skin, closeness, and cuddles help babies feel safe, secure, and connected.

That’s just scratching the surface.

Let’s also address the idea that breastfeeding is “addictive.” It isn’t. There is nothing in breastmilk or breastfeeding that creates chemical dependency or addictive behaviour. What does happen is that breastfeeding stimulates the release of oxytocin and prolactin, the so-called “feel-good hormones”, which help with bonding, calm, and connection. Yes, babies can feel dependent on that closeness, and mothers can feel a strong urge to continue feeding their babies, but this is a healthy biological design. Is that a bad thing? I don’t think so. Calling it addictive cheapens something incredibly natural and beneficial, it pathologises love, touch, and connection. And we really need to stop doing that.

And let's not forget the benefits for mums too. Breastfeeding reduces the risk of breast and ovarian cancer, type 2 diabetes, and high blood pressure. So yes, I am a little “selfish,” because I want to be alive and well for my children. Imagine that.

Now, about this idea that breastfeeding older babies is “not normal”, let’s really question that. Normal by whose standards? Western culture, where bottle-feeding became dominant for commercial reasons? Or by biological, evolutionary standards? Because here’s a fact: orangutans breastfeed their infants for up to eight years. Are we going to tell them that’s “not normal”? That there’s “no benefit”? Good luck with that.

The truth is, what’s “normal” for one culture isn’t for another. What’s unfamiliar isn’t automatically unnatural. And calling a mother’s instincts “weird” or “abnormal” says far more about society’s discomfort with women’s bodies than it does about breastfeeding itself.

And look, I’m not here to judge anyone who doesn’t breastfeed. Some can’t, some won’t, some don’t want to, and all of that is valid. Motherhood is hard enough. But what I do take issue with is women making other women feel ashamed for how they choose to feed their babies.

Because right now, in a world where men are still trying to control our bodies and fertility, the last thing we need is women adding fuel to that fire. We should be backing each other, not tearing each other down.

So no, I’m not going to stop feeding my baby because it makes someone else uncomfortable. I’m not going to hide, shrink, or apologise. I’m going to do what mothers have always done: nourish, protect, and love unapologetically.

To the mums breastfeeding past six months, past a year, or tandem feeding toddlers: you’re not weird. You’re not selfish. You’re not abnormal. You’re doing what feels right for you and your baby.

And to the mums who bottle-feed, pump, combi-feed, or don’t breastfeed at all, I see you too. You’re also doing what’s best for your baby. There’s no one “right” way to feed a child. But there is a right way to treat each other, with kindness, respect, and empathy.

Motherhood isn’t a competition. And it certainly isn’t a debate panel.

Pregnant and feeling anxious about the noise and judgement around feeding? Let me support you through this incredible, transitional time. I’m here for breastfeeding solidarity, judgement-free, always.

https://www.thedouladirectory.com/england/reading/doula/larissa-whiteway

Breastfeeding isn’t weird. Shame is. Pass it on.